I am going to be interchangeably using the words black sheep and scapegoat. They both mean the same things in my opinion and through my experiences. l will give the definition of both for those of you who have yet to know the meanings. Scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes or faults of others, especially for the sake of improper or immoral convenience. Black sheep is a member of a family or group who is regarded as a disgrace to them aka “The black sheep of the family.” These words have so much similar meaning to them and the pains that come along with them can be just as tremendous in the same.
Picture yourself in the shoes of this individual who spiritually has this label placed on them and many from the day they entered into this Universe. Imagine being in this world thinking everything in life that happened wrong was your fault and imagine being targeted just for being born. Imagine feeling like an outcast ever since you could open your eyes. Imagine feeling like life would be better if you were possibly never created because of the mistreatments and abuse. Close your eyes and visualize being a target and being left out of so much in life, just because you were brung into this Universe.
It’s one thing to imagine the heartache and pain that can come from the thoughts, if your an human with feelings, but actually being that individual, well that is another story…I will use the term black sheep through the remainder of this post and you will see through the eyes of a person with this “label.”
Now nine times out of ten, the person that targeted the black sheep was their caregiver(s). In most cases can be a mom, dad, uncle, aunt, grandparent, etc. But it does not just stop there, it can come from anyone that raised this spiritual being not limiting specific titles. The caregiver even found it fun recruiting others to join in on the torment of making the black sheep feel some type of way. Now lets be real, healthy people don’t cause trauma, hurt and pain or division intentionally so majority of the time this caregiver was I’m sure a Narcissistic energy, You can read more on Narc energies under toxic people on my blog. A narcissist’s energy has many toxic traits but it’s one thing to deal with an overt narc. A covert narc is the one with the Dr Jenkyll and Mr Hyde persona and gets by under the radar with the abuse that they dish out.
The black sheep is made to believe that they will never be good enough no matter what they say or what they do. They are trained to know that all that is wrong in life is because they exist. They are made to be picked upon and left out of many events and part of the family and it is mainly with intention. It’s pretty much like they can be treated like the scum on the bottom of a shoe. Now as a young child, they don’t understand why it is happening or even that it is happening. They just know something feels off and not right about the person that is supposed to love them unconditionally bringing them up.
They are picked on verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically. They are told horrible things about themselves and made to think they are less than especially compared to other siblings if they have other siblings or other people. They are made to think they are ugly, a waste of breath, a waste of life in general and all of this while being raised. Much of the damage goes unnoticed however because their caregiver dare not allow anyone to see the traumatic shit they are dishing out on a child that can’t even at times fend for themselves. Imagine going through life pretending like there is nothing wrong or that much of the abuse whether subtle or not never happened.
Yes, that can be tragic and confusing for a little child that can’t truly decipher what love is or can be because it was never really given to them. Unfortunately the caregiver did the best they could do, but based on their horrible upbringing, not making excuses for them..the hurt hurted other people including those that depended on them.
Now we are not going to make this about the caregiver because it is about that beautiful spirit that was created that was ripped out of a loving chance at life due to unfortunate circumstances. It was never their fault and they did nothing wrong. The black sheep is the strongest within the family and always calls out the wrong because they have been through the dark and see it immediately. Unfortunately that is also why they are disliked the most amongst others including siblings.
People hate being called out especially when they can be monsters at heart. The black sheep definitely has a purpose in life and many of the times, the circumstances and people in life are meant to be that distraction. However the black sheep can overcome all obstacles thrown their way and they will make it with or without because they pave their own way and have been through hell and high water and will not tolerate being stopped or settling.
Where there is a black sheep in the family there is also a golden child in that same narcissist family dynamic. We will get on the topic of the golden child in another post. Most of the time this is within a narcissistic family dynamic and again, these are spiritual titles because in life there are no true labels in my opinion, just real treatment aka reality.
Although the black sheep is dealt the short end of the stick, they excel tremendously in life and have so much to gain from the life lessons that occurred through them. Notice I said through them. Life happens through you and not to you! Always remember that. They may laugh at the black sheep because he or she is different, but the black sheep laughs back because the others are all the same. With that being said, embrace this part of you. It molded you into who you are and made you unbreakable.
The black sheep often have great hearts, treat people how they want to be treated and know pain oh so well. They are gentle spirited people regardless of the darkness that they went through. They used their darkness as a catalyst for them opposed to against them. They recognize that not only is there light in this Universe but also darkness because of their experiences on this Universe.
You may bend, but you never will break and that is resilience so cherish it.
Many of the black sheeps in the families become self healers, break their generational curses, fear, guilt, shame and start their own lineage. Being the black sheep in a family is a gift! So the next time you feel bad and out because of the mistreatments and monster hearted people of this Universe, bounce back because you got this and you’re unstoppable. Look life in the eye and say, “I got this!”
Tell us about your experience down below and how you overcame it and stood strong and tall. We would love to hear about it. We are all on this journey and no soul is greater than the next. We are all trying to make it and live in peace.
Danni Divine 2K21
Spiritual Butterflies 